The Person I Want to Be
Everyone has things they struggle with in life. For me, it’s been willpower, self discipline. I’m moody – and I don’t mean mood swings between extreme emotional states – but more like, I’m just not in the mood to… do something when it’s scheduled – go out, do yoga or go for a walk, respond to emails, cook, eat vegetables, answer the phone (eg. talk to someone), etc.
I typically give in to what I am in the mood to do – read, eat a hot dog (yes 100% natural, antibiotic free, but still… I should be eating veggies!), watch a show or trees swaying in the wind outside, and lots of other things.
I also have quite a few habits, some of which I’ve tried to break. But, with weak willpower, self discipline it’s been really hard to be the “Person I Want to Be.” I can accept my flaws, and laugh at myself, and generally feel pretty good about myself. I’d rather have this problem than some of the struggles others do – family problems, alcoholism, extreme mood swings, and so on, and I have mad skills.
But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t strive to get just a little bit closer to the Person I Want to Be.
A little while ago I read a really well written article by a nutritionist. She was saying it takes three weeks of a focused, daily effort for someone to change or develop a new habit. That really struck me – whenever I go on a Mission of Change, I tend to try and change many habits at once. In my defense, a lot of them are inter-dependent, really! But yes, it’s also my personality trait where I tend to do too much, go overboard. If it takes 3 weeks to develop / change ONE habit, no wonder my missions have (mostly) failed.
So, I’ve been mulling over what one thing I should pick and focus on. Do yoga every morning? Maintain a daily schedule / task list? Log my time on everything I’m doing throughout the day so that I will be constantly aware when the clock is stopped and I’m not being productive? Which would carry over into my personal life hopefully.
Now, I could probably write on about why I’m so undisciplined, what my parents didn’t do right, how society has formed me, and so on… but I won’t. Because I’m disciplining myself and finishing this post before it’s time to shut off the computer and attend to my kids (yes, again I’m practicing self discipline, because I often don’t get off the computer right away when boys are home).
When I decide what I’ll focus on, I’ll write a post about it. Hopefully I’ll be in the mood to!
PS. I found the apple image on a pretty good post about developing habits.